


Doin' the Chocolate Slide

by Batsutousai



Series: Tumblr Prompts [9]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies) RPF
Genre: Food Sex, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 14:17:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/639735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batsutousai/pseuds/Batsutousai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki gets some of the best (read: worst) ideas from Tumblr, but even Tom has to agree that this one's not too bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doin' the Chocolate Slide

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AislingSiobhan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AislingSiobhan/gifts), [Lokesenna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokesenna/gifts), [Alate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alate/gifts).



> **Disclaim Her:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Marvel. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The characters of Thomas "Tom" Hiddleston is based on a real person, and no offence is intended; this is only for the amusement of myself and other like-minded (read: mentally ill) fans.
> 
>  **A/N:** Apparently, sick!Bats = smutty!Bats. (Though I'm feeling much better, now. All those times getting dragged out of the flat this weekend seem to have helped, though it did keep me from finishing this sooner. ^.^")  
>  For AislingSiobhan. Because this is as close as I'm ever going to get to fulfilling this particular promise. XD  
> Also, for PrincelySecrets (and PrancerLoon). Because I was teasing him and said I'd write porn if he'd stop being grumpy with me. XP
> 
> Finally did a read-through. OMG, GUYS. THIS WAS SO BAD. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?! *ashamed*

Loki didn't react at all when Thomas entered the flat, and nor did he respond to the tired greeting the mortal offered, because that would have been expected. (And Loki hated doing the expected. Except for those times when he decided he must, if only to keep people from expecting him to always do the unexpected, thereby making him entirely unexpectable.) 

He waited until Thomas had put away his coat and toed off his shoes before announcing, "I have come across a most compelling suggestion." 

Thomas literally froze in the middle of the room, one leg held in the act of taking a step and eyes narrowing with distrust. "And would I approve of this suggestion?" he asked, carefully lowering his foot and balancing as though expecting he might be required to flee. 

It wasn't an entirely unnecessary reaction, as Loki's last 'compelling suggestion' had involved teleporting directly to where Jörmungand had been at that very moment. Loki hadn't realised how absolutely terrified Thomas was of sharks until after they'd seen there were more than a few around, attracted by the blood from Jörmungand's most recent kill. Thomas had had a panic attack, and refused to let Loki touch him for almost two weeks after the god brought them both home, irrationally certain that Loki would teleport them away again. Loki had done more apologising in those two weeks than he had in the entirety of his long life. (He still held out that no mortal would ever be worth such debasement, and Thomas seemed to derive great pleasure in telling him, 'No one is fooled'.) 

Still, Loki was certain his mortal would enjoy this idea, so he shot Thomas a smile that was – mostly – comforting, and said, "Of course you will. It involves chocolate." 

Thomas relaxed a bit at that, though he still kept out of Loki's reach. "Chocolate?" 

Loki turned back to the computer screen and pulled up the browser window he'd been looking at. The familiar blue layout of the Tumblr dashboard appeared, and Thomas moaned behind him, having made it plenty clear how little he approved of the god being on the site. Loki ignored him and pulled up the post the idea had come from, saying, "Some of your fans have wish to see you covered in chocolate." 

"No," Thomas immediately replied, and Loki turned to scowl at him. "No, because it's going to make a mess and I'm not spending the rest of the night cleaning up spilled chocolate just so you can...I don't even know! What part of this is a good idea, anyway?" 

Loki considered the mortal through narrowed eyes for a moment before smoothing his expression and voice and saying, "I could see to it that any mess is cleaned without your assistance." He shrugged and turned back to the computer. "If you don't want me licking chocolate off you while I fuck you against–"

"You'll clean it up?" Thomas demanded, and there was a breathless quality to his voice that made Loki smirk. 

"Of course," he purred. 

Thomas' hands settled on his shoulders. "Your word," he insisted, because he knew Loki far too well to let him get away with so simple a verbal promise. 

Loki leaned back against the mortal, turning his head to nuzzle one of his hands. "You have my word as a God; I will clean up any mess occurring from this venture." He tilted his head back far enough to meet the bright blue eyes above him, pupils already dilating with the promise of what was to come. 

Thomas cleared his throat. "Do I need to go out and get chocolate syrup?" 

Loki smirked. "Everything is already set in the bathroom." 

"Self-assured bastard," he muttered, tone fond, and pulled away from Loki to head for the bathroom. "Coming?" 

Loki did _not_ scramble out of his chair (no matter what Thomas said later), but _slowly_ rose and followed Thomas, watching with burning eyes as the mortal casually pulled his shirt off and tossed it towards the laundry hamper on his way through the bedroom. The god followed suit – he was plenty familiar with how much of a mess chocolate made, as well as how difficult it was to remove from clothing – before stepping into the bathroom. 

Thomas had undone the front of his trousers, leaving them hanging loose on his hips, the green and gold boxers Loki had given him for the Midgardian holiday of 'Christmas' easy to see. The mortal was glancing around, taking in the faint sheen of magic covering every surface of the room, as well as the line-up of chocolate syrup bottles on the edge of the bath. Against the far wall, held in place with magic, was Thomas' little-used digital camera, and he raised an eyebrow at the god after spotting it. "Picture evidence?" he commented drily. 

Loki stepped forward and ran a finger along the top edge of the mortal's boxers. "Mm-hm," he agreed. And then, as though to assure Thomas, he added, "It's aimed too high for anything below the waist." 

"I'd noticed," Thomas replied, turning and settling his hands on the god's hips, against the top of his trousers. Then his lips quirked with a smile and he said, "Pictures with my camera-shy boyfriend? At last?" 

Loki scowled, trying to ignore the way his cheeks heated at the teasing (he was a _God_ , not some blushing mortal maiden). He's aware of Thomas' preference for privacy and has a habit of breaking any cameras he spots in their vicinity; there's no fault in being an attentive lover. Sometimes. 

Thomas let out a quiet laugh and leaned forward to kiss at the corners of Loki's mouth until the scowl smoothed out. "I love you," he murmured against Loki's lips, and the god couldn't help but smile as he turned his head enough to draw the mortal into a proper kiss. 

Thomas' hand slid around and down the back of Loki's trousers, cupping one buttock and letting his fingers tease between it and its twin. Loki couldn't help but buck forward at the touch, pressing clothed crotches together. Thomas let out a breathless laugh in Loki's mouth and tried to pull back, only to discover that the ties of Loki's trousers had got caught in his zipper. The mortal hid his face against Loki's neck, laughing helplessly. 

Loki rolled his eyes and spelled their clothing out of the way, then ran one hand soothingly over Thomas' back, waiting for him to calm down. When Thomas finally pulled back with a smile, looking like he might comment on the humour of the moment, Loki upended the cap-less bottle of chocolate he'd been holding over the mortal's hair. 

Thomas quickly closed his eyes and sputtered a bit, whole body letting out one long shudder and his hands flexing against Loki's hips. Only once Loki had tossed the bottle against the far wall, empty, did Thomas wipe one hand over his eyes to clear away the chocolate before squinting at the god. "Dammit, Loki," he complained, but there was a smile on his lips as he licked chocolate from them. 

Loki couldn't help but trace the motion with his eyes. He skimmed a hand up Thomas' chest, which had been largely left untouched by the syrup. "Have to do another one," he murmured, reaching up and catching a drop of chocolate from Thomas' eyebrow before it could drip into his eye. 

Thomas caught Loki's hand by the wrist and slowly guided the finger with the drop of chocolate into his mouth, watching Loki the whole time. The warmth that gathered low in Loki's belly was both rewarding and distracting, and the god knew that had been Thomas' intent, especially given he then murmured, "Give me a bottle?" against Loki's finger. 

Loki swallowed. "You intend to return the favour?" he asked, and his voice had a raspy quality to it that made Thomas' lips curl in a way the was entirely of Loki's design. 

"Mm, no, not yet. I intend to show you how this _should_ be done." 

Loki called a bottle over, because that was a promise they would both enjoy. "As you will, then," he replied, handing it over. 

Thomas' eyes glinted, the blue more pronounced behind the mask of dark brown, then tossed his head back and poured the bottle directly into his mouth, allowing it to overflow. As it emptied, he moved it forward, so it was pouring on his chin, then straight onto his chest. Thick drops raced down, between his pectorals and over the faint definition of his abs before breaking against where his cock strained against his belly, appearing as hungry for the dark syrup as Loki was. 

Loki didn't think about it, just dropped to his knees and licked a stripe up the underside of Thomas' cock, catching chocolate and a hint of precum at the tip. 

Thomas let out a gasp and grabbed for Loki's shoulder, the bottle of chocolate falling to the tile next to them with a hollow thump and leaking a miniscule amount of chocolate onto the magical barrier. "O-oh, God," Thomas stuttered as Loki licked up one side of his cock, swallowing more of the chocolate. When Loki licked up the other side, Thomas let out a quiet whine, which lengthened when Loki rose to press their mouths together, sharing chocolate and the bitter hint of his mortal's natural offerings. 

Thomas' hands fell to Loki's hips and he ground against the god, making both of them groan and transferring a share of the chocolate to Loki's front. 

Loki called over another bottle and pressed it against the back of one of Thomas' hands. "Here," he breathed against the mortal's mouth, not even caring at how much a dirty mess he felt right that moment. 

Thomas nipped his lower lip as he took the bottle, then poured it slowly onto Loki's hair, held far enough back that only the barest few drops fell between where they were watching each other. And Loki shivered at the feeling of chocolate dripping down his back, cold despite how long it had been left to sit at room temperature. 

Loki didn't hear the empty bottle hit the floor, but he felt the long, nimble fingers that slid unerringly down his back and between his buttocks, following the trail of chocolate to Loki's sphincter, which Thomas pressed against with a finger. 

Loki bucked against him with a gasp. "What are you–?"

"Changing the rules of the game, darling," Thomas whispered as his finger breeched the god, making Loki press forward with a hiss. 

Loki knew better than to try arguing with the mortal; Thomas was usually more than willing to be the receiver in their sexual relations, but he would occasionally insist on taking Loki, and nothing Loki had ever said or done had changed his mind. So Loki just relaxed against the mortal, nipping at his ear and down the side of his neck as Thomas prepared him with chocolate syrup, letting slip little noises of approval at Loki's attentions. 

Loki couldn't hold back a whine when Thomas finally pressed his fingers directly against his prostate once, twice, then pulled his fingers out completely. Thomas breathed a chuckle just under Loki's ear before ordering, "Against the wall," in a voice that was far too breathless to be giving orders. 

Loki didn't hesitate to lean against the wall, across from the camera, legs spread without needing to be asked. He felt a vague sense of disappointment that he wouldn't be able to lick chocolate from the mortal's skin as they fucked, but he knew Thomas couldn't balance the god's greater weight while standing – they'd tried it once; it hadn't ended well – so he would make do. 

Thomas stepped up behind Loki, fitting comfortably between his spread legs. He took a moment to tease at Loki's arse with his fingers, causing Loki to press back and snarl, "Get _on_ with it." 

"Sorry," Thomas replied, not sounding the least bit sorry, but he did follow that with pressing smoothly into Loki, passage eased by magic that was mostly unconscious on Loki's behalf. He wrapped an arm around Loki's abdomen and complained, "Chocolate is slippery." 

"Should have let me-e take you," Loki replied, breath hitching as Thomas carefully moved inside him, brushing tantalisingly lightly across his prostate. 

Thomas licked along Loki's shoulder. "Mmm. No." He drew a finger up Loki's chest, gathering chocolate, before tracing the edge of Loki's lips with it. "Guide me," he murmured. 

Loki knew what the mortal was asking, and he moved one hand back to grab Thomas' thigh, stilling his slow drag out so Loki could shift his legs into a better position. "Okay," he said after a moment, and returned his hand to bracing himself against the wall. 

Thomas pressed back into the god, nailing his prostate straight on. Loki arched, dropping his head back onto Thomas' shoulder, and the mortal's chocolate-covered finger dropped past his now-open lips, and drew along his tongue. Loki closed his lips around the finger and set about cleaning it off, making Thomas breathe a long moan against the clean patch of skin on Loki's shoulder. 

When Thomas' finger was completely clean, Loki let it go in favour of whispering, "More." 

Thomas shook his head, chocolate-drenched hair tickling Loki's ear. "Too slippery," he explained. 

"Next time–" Loki started on a snarl, but Thomas' hand wrapped around his cock with easy familiarity, one finger gliding against his slit before slipping under his foreskin. Loki bucked forward, biting back a whimper so he could gasp out, determined, "Next time–"

"I'll let you fuck me," Thomas promised, then nudged Loki's cheek with his nose. "Come here." 

Loki turned his head until Thomas could press their lips together. The mortal's mouth was ringed with chocolate, his teeth and tongue practically _dripping_ with it, from licking Loki's shoulder clean, and the god greedily licked and sucked the chocolate away, swallowing Thomas' moans and whimpers and the quiet, breathy whispers of "Loki" and "please".

Loki didn't even know he was on the edge until he was falling over it, pulling his mouth away and gasping something that might have been an oath, might have been a benediction, at the overhead light. 

Thomas kept fucking into Loki, long and slow and no longer hitting the god's prostate straight on because they'd both shifted their stances when Loki had come. 

Loki took a moment to gather his wits, then turned his head back towards Thomas and licked along the shell of his ear, making the mortal shudder out a hiss. "Come, my Thomas," the god ordered, strength in his tone. " _Come_."

Thomas went rigid against Loki's back and he let out that helpless little whimpering keen that he always made. (And if Thomas ever realised exactly how much of an affect that noise had on Loki, the god would be completely ruined. Assuming he wasn't already. ~~Which he _wasn't_.~~ )

Once Thomas had slipped out, Loki turned and gathered the mortal into his arms, Thomas' eyes already heavy with post-orgasmic exhaustion. "Let's see you to bed," he murmured, silently directing his magic to clean them both, then wipe away all traces from the rest of the bathroom. 

"Never ate dinner," Thomas mumbled, nudging Loki's chin with the top of his head. 

Loki snorted, and placed the mortal onto their bed before climbing in after him. "You can eat in a couple hours," he said, because Thomas always woke, like clockwork, one hour and fifty-five minutes after he passed out. (Loki had timed it. Four times.) 

Thomas hummed and curled against Loki's chest. "Okay," he mumbled and drifted off. 

Loki waited until the mortal was completely passed out, then climbed out of bed and magically donned a pair of trousers while gathering the camera and left over chocolate bottles. The chocolate bottles went into the kitchen, for later use in either some recipe or another that Thomas found for it – he knew how the mortal was about using every bit of food in their kitchen – or another evening having chocolate sex. (Loki much rather the second option, but he wouldn't really mind having a whatever pudding Thomas created, if that was the mortal's preference.) 

The camera was plugged into the laptop, and the pictures it had been automatically taking – from the moment Loki stepped into the bathroom, to the moment he'd left – were downloaded into a folder. Loki spent half an hour looking through them, deleting those that came out poorly, or where all you could see was the back of Thomas' head (which included all of the pictures of them fucking, though there were a couple of nice shots that Loki moved into his own, personal folder). 

In the end, he had a handful of good shots to pick from. It wasn't hard to decide on a shot taken while Thomas had been pouring chocolate syrup over himself, the liquid just starting it's slow slide down from where the stream had finally connected with his chest. Loki, too, stood in the frame, eyes hungry as he watched, and Thomas knew it, judging by the too-pleased turn of his lips. (Loki was near certain this was the moment Thomas had decided he would be the one doing the fucking.) 

The other picture Loki picked out, was one taken while Thomas had been pouring chocolate over the god. There was a faint blur from the stream of chocolate coming from the bottle held just out of the screen, but it was otherwise perfect, with Thomas and Loki staring at each other, noses brushing, and easy smiles turning both their mouths. There was chocolate all over the bottom half of Loki's face, and patches of skin showing on Thomas', suggesting at the kiss that had preceded the photo. 

It was a good picture, an honest one, and Loki knew it was the one Thomas would be most willing to share with his fans. Still, Loki was fond of that first one, because it was honest, too, and Thomas looked _glorious_ in it.

So he uploaded them both to the mortal's WhoSay account, set them to post to his tumblr in an hour or so (it would give the pictures time to get around the internet, and he rather liked not letting people know he was Thomas' mysterious lover), then put the computer to sleep and returned to the bedroom to catch a brief nap and be there when Thomas woke.

**Author's Note:**

> So, in case anyone was thinking of trying chocolate as lube: Don't. Unless you're a super magical god (like Loki) or have said super magical god living with you and willing to burn out the infections that are certain to occur.  
> Seriously. Not good. Don't do it.  
> ♥♥ Bats ^.^x


End file.
